Sayonara
by Hisashi Loves Yelen
Summary: Rukawa contemplates suicide. PG for content and one swear word. Slightly morbid. [One-shot]


Sayonara

I'm standing near the edge of the rooftop of Shohoku High, ready to kill myself. 

It's no joke. I'm serious. So serious I could rival… well, I don't know. It doesn't matter. Nothing will matter once my body parts are splattered all over the school ground, except my suicide. All that came before would be redundant and useless. 

I wish I'd still be around to see the shocked expression on whoever discovers my mauled body. It would probably be the only thing in years that may actually make me laugh. Just imagine the shock! Rukawa Kaede, jumping to his own untimely death, for reasons unknown to everyone as he's too damn lazy to leave a suicide note. 

I can just see the headlines now: _Kanagawa's Super Rookie Kills Himself In Another Tragic Case of Teenage Suicide. Rookie Sensation Rukawa Kaede Found Dead At Foot Of Shohoku High. The Death That Nobody Understands. Rukawa Kaede's Suicide: Why Did He Do It?_

I'll tell you why right now, and it would be _your_ exclusive gossip. Nobody in the world would know except for you. Why? Because you're so damn special, that's why. Special people naturally deserve special privileges, and this is your special privilege as a special person, from me to you. 

Isn't that wonderful? I think it is. 

So here it is, Rukawa Kaede's biggest secret: 

… Um, let's do that later. I can't remember what I was going to say. To make up for my blunder, I'll pacify you by saying my last good-byes. 

Let's start with the obvious. My parents. Mom, Dad, you guys have been great. Thanks for putting a roof over my head and doing not much else. I appreciate all the branded stuff though. Certainly made up for your absence all these years. Thanks a great deal. _Arigatou. Merci. Xie xie. Gracias_. I will definitely miss our limo. Say 'bye' to it for me, okay? 

Moving on to the next important person in my life. 

Can't think of anyone. Oh right, I suppose the guys on the team. To Akagi. I'm bidding you farewell first because you're the captain. It has been a pleasure playing alongside you and thrashing the hell out of Ryonan and defeating stupid Sendoh. I'll remember your gorilla dunks even in heaven, or wherever it is I'll go to. Goodbye. 

To Kogure. Putting you second because you're the vice-captain. You're the sixth member of the team. I'll never forget your amazing three-pointer against Ryonan. It defeated stupid Sendoh. Rock on and goodbye. 

To Mitsui. Please tell your fans that I am not gay, and even if I were, I wouldn't be gay with you. I beat you during that one-on-one, three-pointer or not. Besides, you stepped on the line. You should've been among the best five, instead of Jin, but life has always sucked so no surprise there. Goodbye. 

To Miyagi. I wish you the best of luck in going after Ayako, even though I have a feeling it's gonna be futile. May you beat that fruitcake Fujima Kenji one day. He's such a tart. You're so much better. If you ever need any divine intervention, just utter a prayer and I'll help you. Goodbye. 

To the substitutes. Frankly, your basketball skills are atrocious. Please train hard to be as good as us starters because, frankly, you're an embarrassment to us. No wonder people always say Shohoku's strength lies only in its hierarchy. And that's all I have to say. Bye. 

To the do'ahou. May you forever walk in the shadow of the great Rukawa Kaede. You'll never be better than me, so you can stop wishing it. Till then, keep trying and bring glory to the team. I definitely won't miss you though. Bye. 

To Sendoh. I hate you. 

I sound like a goddamn drunk, even to my own ears. What am I to do? I am indeed drunk. I'm drunk on the excitement of finally deciding to kill myself. It's been such a long time, even before the guilt trip started for losing the match against Kainan. Can't really pinpoint the exact moment, but it was around the time when both my parents committed adultery at the same time and when my cousin, the only true friend I ever had, was sentenced to death in Singapore for drug-trafficking. 

I bet my beloved fans would simply _love_ to hear this intriguing bit of info. You won't tell them, would you? If you do, then it's no longer exclusive and that defeats the whole purpose of giving you, a special person, a special privilege. The average Peter and Jane shouldn't be allowed to hear exclusive things. 

You see, I'm cold inside. Freezing cold. And I seriously doubt my ability to feel. This heart refuses to let anyone in, no matter how much this mind forces it to. It's a curse I was infected with the day I was born into a family as fucked up as mine. It's a curse I have had to live with over the years. I was destined to be alone, as long as my heart is mine and as long as this curse is still with me. 

So I've finally decided to do myself a little favour. It's nothing much, really. Just something so obvious, it's long overdue. 

Today, I will no longer be alone. Today, I will break free from the curse that is Rukawa Kaede. 

Today, I am a free man. 

I take a step forward. 

And I'm free falling through air. I feel the first hint of a smile stretch over my face. 

My first smile. In a long, long time. 

-end- 

** 

A/N: ...Yeah. I wrote this in one sitting, early this morning at 12 a.m. Completed it in an hour while obsessing over another story idea I had. Was going to make it humour but somehow, I ended up really killing poor Kaede. Ah, well. 

A classmate of mine actually called me a 'fruitcake' once. I thought it was pretty funny. 

-Yelen (Hisashi's soulmate)   



End file.
